Career Strategies

"BALANCING ACT"
by Rhonda Edwards Powell*

Hard work, perseverance, and a consistent commitment to developing one's skills are requisites to achieving career success. To that end, we have attended some of the country's finest universities and professional schools; dedicated ourselves to excellence in performance at these institutions and upon graduation, taken demanding positions in the legal profession. With the grueling hours and challenging assignments comes the hope that this work is not in vain, that our dedication will be validated by the offer of a partnership, the granting of tenure, or other appropriate recognition. Life, too often, becomes consumed by work; and like everyone else around, we measure success by promotions, the size of bonuses, and performance ratings.

Then, one night we sit at a desk eating Chinese food out of a plastic container for the third weekend in a row when it hits us:

1. Friends do not call any more because we have backed out of so many commitments to them;
2. We have not had a date in a year; or if married, husbands plan dinners with the assumptions that they will be eating alone;
3. We have cancelled our last three vacations at the last minute or have been forced to cut them short to return to the office on an urgent matter;
4. Our children call the babysitter, "Mommy," and we have not objected;
5. Our membership at the gym gets about as much use as the bridesmaid's dress we wore to our friend's wedding three years (and dress sizes) ago; and
6. There are other things going on (including items 1-5 above) in our lives that are actually far more important at the time than whether we eventually make partner/get tenure/or promoted to general counsel.

It does not matter what stage we have reached in our career, the maddening pace and the drive toward career success sometimes cause the other aspects of our lives to fall by the wayside. We get out of balance. Suddenly, one day we notice it, and then...we panic. We question our values as a good friend, girlfriend, daughter, wife, and mother. Guilt consumes us as we push ourselves even harder to excel, not only in negotiating deals and trying cases, but also in cooking classic French meals, counseling friends through relationship mishaps (using Dr. Phil's principles of success), coaching pee-wee soccer, and getting in three workouts per week with a personal trainer.

This road, of course, cannot deliver us to the promised land of perfection. It can lead, in all probability, to exhaustion, a psychiatrist's couch, or into a bottle of Xanax. The truth is that achieving balance over a lifetime does not require that we evenly segment our days among a myriad of obligations. It does require that we make conscious choices about each aspect of our lives on a regular basis, and conform our actions and expectations to those choices. It also requires our recognition of our physical and emotional limitations. We can do it all--but not simultaneously.

Careers may dominate our lives for months or even years, but that should be a choice. Likewise, we can choose to have family obligations as a primary concern. Rather than feeling guilty or apologetic about this choice, we must adjust our professional and personal goals and methods to support the decisions we have made. The same is true with respect to our decisions to allow other personal needs or desires to take precedence--health, special relationships, and extracurricular interests. Whatever our goals or choices, we must attack those projects with the same intensity and zeal and vigor as if we were arguing a case before a jury. We have to question what are we willing to sacrifice or forego in order to achieve our desires, our goals. As we ask these questions, our answers undoubtedly will change several times, and we will be forced to adjust our actions accordingly. Most importantly, though, we will be in control and will have no (or at least fewer) regrets.

Certainly, if we wind up eating cold Chinese in the office every night for a month, we at least can believe that the six extra pounds were worth it all.

*Rhonda Edwards Powell is an attorney at Scripps Networks in New York City.